Hey Aaron,
You are no newbie!
This is working great for me, thank you. Found this easier than having to add a script to the file system.
For free no-ip.com accounts the DNS records are cleaned up after 30days of no updates. Should my connection last longer than 30days... my DNS will disappear. Do you have a way around this?
I am very new to event policies... I might try to create an event policy that simply updates DNS every 2weeks to work in tandem with your event policy.